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Friday, June 10, 2016

Possible Move

I have been struggling with the possibility of moving to another place. I am not saying that I will be moving to another location, at least not yet. At this point, I have to wait for another year or so, perhaps another eighteen months.


The idea of leaving the place where I have been living for almost nine years scares me. Newfoundland is the longest place I have been living in without moving. So, if or when I'll have to move it would be a difficult experience. I will have to leave behind many people and many places. any of those people became dear to my heart.
Moving to a new place means starting over new people, new job, new location, new home and new lifestyle. In my case, I will have to find a new church. I will have to make new friends. Every time when you move to a new place, there is always a risk and uncertainty. I am not sure if or when I am moving.
I moved a lot. One of my first memories was connected to moving. I remember boxes, suitcases, piles of things, and I was hiding behind a box.  I thought it was fun, but my parents didn't like it. I was both excited and sad about the moving.  On the one hand, I will see a new locality, meet new people. On the other hand, I will have to leave any favorite places and  old friends behind. I a getting t the point where I would love to settle down: start a family. Leaving your family at the age of 17 makes you grow up faster. In many cases, I enjoy the company of people in their 30s and early forties.
The other thing, I love the ocean. Living near the Atlantic Ocean has been amazing: so much beautiful scenery. I tink that part of my heart will always belong to the ocean.    There is something about looking at the waves and realizing the power of a nature knowing that the waves can sweep you off at any moment. It reminds me how powerful God is and how powerless we are.  Last year I was on a boat. It was part of the assignment. The waves were rocking the boat. I was out on the deck. Others were inside. I was looking at the waves and my heart was at peace. It looked as if the boat will capsize, but it didn't bother me at all.
You know I was praying and rejoicing. I told myself that this is my home. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well, merely a year later I am torn. I know that if I move, it would be far from the ocean and sea. I have hard tie understanding those who live far away from a large body of water.

Why do you want to leave?

People ask me that when they hear my story. In the past two months, something happened. I am not going to go into the details. Something happened that changed my mind: not just one thing, but several. All things seem to point out towards one direction.  
After praying and fasting, I decided to wait for another year. If I am leaving, this will not be the case for the next year or maybe year and a half. At this point, the move is not a certain. All that I can tell you now: it will be another Canadian province, the new location will be fairly close to US/Canada border. I have some ideas where I might be going. There are many things that need to fall in place. I don't know where I will be living a year from now or 18 months later.  
At this point, I wish that I knew my future. I don't. Where my life is going, no idea. 
All that is left to do is to trust God.
"Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5 
   
I though of the nknown on the boardof the tallship from Venezuela. 

6 comments:

  1. Dear Irina,thank you for sharing your recent situation.I have lived in this city for 15years,attended same church for 18years.For many reasons,I feel that I will not move anymore unless God give me drastic changes.

    I have my husband and a son(as you know,he has slight handicap.)It means for me that I can not go to the place where are too far from my house.Sometimes I feel that I won't be able to go abroad again in my life anymore.

    Moving,staying..Wherever we may be,we hope to stay in Christ.
    I know that God gives you His best plan.Please be fine and God help you walking in His way.

    Sanae




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    1. Dear Sanae, thank you for your comment. There have been some drastic changes. You will read about the major change in my letter. I am not feeling comfortable talking about it. Maybe I will write more detailed post. Now I can't.
      Irina

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  2. Dear Irina,
    Thank you for your honest sharing, I am going to send you an email. With love, Kinuko

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    1. Dear Kinuko,
      I sent you an e-mail, where I explain the situation in more details.
      In Christ,
      Irina

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  3. Dear Irina,
    Something stood out to me as I read your article. The future is always unknown; no matter how comfortable we become with the idea of what tomorrow may bring, we still have no idea if what we imagine will happen, will in actuality happen. For example, my life seems pretty stable now, but what do I know? The unexpected could happen in the next five minutes! I think it helps to see our future as an exciting adventure God has planned for us: whatever happens will unfold according to His wisdom and loving will, so we have nothing to fear.
    Much Christian love,
    Jessica

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    1. Dear Jessica,
      Thank you so much for your comment. At this point I am not sure where I will be living in the next 2 years. I have been under much stress and pressure in the past few weeks. At this point I can hardly wait for the time to pass by.
      In Christ,
      Irina

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