That same moment pain became searing. It was bad enough that I shrieked for a moment. As my fingers traveled around the sole of right foot--I felt the shard. It cut into my foot. Thank to the Lord, the thing was not entirely stuck inside. Hopping on my left foot I reached the sofa in my living room. Pain slightly subsided after I sat down, but returned as soon as I attempted to move the foot the pain returned.
It took few minutes to summon courage and to pull out the shard. My fingers were stained with the blood. The sock was saturated with blood. I pulled out the shard; took off the sock; put a band-aid (sticking plaster) on. Yes, I didn't disinfect wound. Why, because I realized that disinfection wouldn't get contaminants out. By the grace of God there was no infection, no harm.
This made me think about the past. Few days prior to that I broke a glass. I thought I took care of every shard. My past came back and literally hurt me. Meanwhile, few thoughts crossed my mind.
Past can confront you unexpectedlyIt never crossed my mind that there was still a single shard left on the floor. Past can confront in form of encounters, memories, objects, sound, smell, vision, people, letter, phone calls, e-mails, and in many other ways. Encounters with past don't have to be painful, but they can leave us pleased, surprised, confused, flabbergasted, sad,angry, and many other reactions. In most cases we go back to reckon our memories. In most cases we engage emotionally.
You can never fully predict consequences of the encounterSometimes consequences don't depend fully upon the way you react. If you ran into a person who used to have issues with you, you honestly have no way to predict their full reaction. It is possible to pretend like nothing bad ever happened, but the chill in the air feels a bit uncomfortable.You may part on good terms, but there is that feeling of uneasiness. In some cases, it might be impossible to resolve the conflict. Remember you are not responsible for that person's reaction.
In other cases you may come across the old family picture/photo and you look at it. You realize that it was taken during your grandmother's birthday party. You look at your aunt, who smiles. Than it hits you--she passed away few moths ago. Worst part--you didn't get a chance to talk to her for the last time. The last time you talked was during your birthday. And when you said bye you couldn't imagine that it would be the last time you would ever talked to her. Both examples are from my personal experience.
Past can convict you
Suddenly you remember the things that you had done sometime ago. You feel uneasy about it. You cannot believe that you did that thing. It can be a memory of something someone done to you. It could be something you done to someone. It could be anything. This can lead from guilt trip into a guilt tap.You get caught in the cycle of guilt. That can prevent you from doing many things: trying something new, forming friendships, reaching your full potential, isolation from people who truly care about you. It can even trigger depression.
It can be much harder to get rid off the small piecesIt's easy to see big pieces, pick them up and throw them away. Dealing with small shards requires more caution, dexterity, skills, looking around, careful examination, and thorough cleaning. In many cases it may require help of other people: family, friends, and in some cases professionals, such as doctors. Often emotional trauma can take root in your heart. When it does--it starts controlling you.
Encounters with past can leave scars.
Anywhere...AnytimePast can get hold of you anytime. It doesn't matter where you are. It happened to me during daytime in the middle of a crowd, and early morning while I was alone in my room. Quite often it happens when we least expect it.
What shall I do?Often people sweep it under the rug. "So I ran into them. It was nothing," we all heard that. You may never see the person who wronged you ever again, but there will be others. Is it worth to look over your shoulder hoping that you'll ever see those people or that person. They might not even remember you. The Lord tells us to forgive our enemies. He never says it's an easy task. We'll most likely struggle with it, but bitterness--whether towards person or situation-- will destroy our lives eventually. Past will come for a visit from time to time, but it doesn't have to be the master of present and own the future.
Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
Matthew 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)
The main reason of letting go of the past, or taking care of it, it will make us fit followers of Christ.
|the piece was very tiny|