What If...

In a past few months, I have gone through some tough time. I have neglected my writing, especially my blog. Today was rough. I decided to look up for something encouraging on social media.

Gracious God (Dropping Out)

I tried my hardest not to give up. I didn’t want to drop out of school in the middle of the program. Last semester went so well. That winter semester started well. I was on top of the world.

It all started going downhill in February. At first, I became overwhelmed with school work. I remember getting an assignment back. The grade was 3/10-30%. After that, I was failing most of my classes. I became emotionally overwhelmed and started skipping classes.

Rejected

People don't discuss that. Churches avoid the subject: rejected people. There are different types of rejections. Some are open. Others are not. I have experienced multiple rejections. My worst pain was caused by Christians. In this post, I decide to touch 

Hunger Games Series: Review of the Trilogy

Few days ago I finished reading Hunger Games. The series consists of three books: The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay. The books were good. If you get a chance to read them, do it. However, I will not recommend it to people younger than 13. It has some gore and violence.

Judith, Martyred Missionary of Russia 's (Book Review and Author's Biography)

Over a year ago on of my most dearest sisters in faith, Kinuko, introduced me to the book—Judith, Martyred Missionary of Russia A True Story by Nikita Ignatievich Saloff-Astakhoff. The book describes the story of  a Jewish girl who became a Christian. Her faith had a very high cost: family, fiance, cultural identity, and ultimately her own life. The Russian name of the book is Невеста Христа (Юдифь)—Bride of Christ (Judith). You can get free version in Russian by clicking on the title.
The book consists of six different chapters: happy days of childhood, refugees, seek and you shall find, persecuted for Christ's sake, dedicated to the Lord, the youthful martyr. Each chapter has it's own style.

Joy Indestractible

People like to make pans. Many plan their lives, including their career path.  We don’t know the future, our God does.Quite often our lives turn out not the way we expect. Quite often we experience changes that can cause much distress. Some changes are good: many aren't.  

Today I live far away from my family, on the other side of the world.It hasn’t been easy. But we know that this arrangement is the best. 

In Season for the Reason

I grew up surrounded by four seasons: spring, summer, autumn/fall, and winter. Each season has it's own characteristics by which we can recognize either of those. I apologize to my readers who live in places where there are no four seasons—equatorial and polar regions. Some places have also strange weather patterns.
We expect a season to come in due time.  Each season associates with certain things: different weather, blossom, sawing and planting, animal behavior, harvest, and holidays. If something happens during the season that is not supposed to take place, we consider it unnatural. 
The Bible says in Genesis 8:22, "While the earth remains, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease": in Proverbs 26:1 it says, "Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, so honor is not fitting for a fool." 
The Scriptures also mention another season—spiritual. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers, Psalm 1:3. There are times/seasons when we should yield the fruit. 
I have been thinking how the Lord appointed four seasons. Each of those seasons is marked by special features.

Winter 

Winter is the coldest season of the year.People wear the warmest clothes. Snow covers many places. Blizzards and flurries occur. In many places people doing various activities: skiing, skating, sledding, snowboarding, making a snowman, having snowball fights, and whatever else you can do with snow.
Most of the time you need to dress warm for the winter. We cover everything except faces. 
More people fall during the season because of icy surfaces. Sometimes thin layer of snow covers the ice. People walk over the surface and slip, You can end up at a hospital.
During blizzards you have to be especially careful: drive slow, don't go outside unless absolutely needed, stay away from power lines, and be prepared for power outage. 
There are no agricultural work in fields, no animals in the meadows.
In older days people relied on food that they managed to store from the harvest. People would prepare for winter by storing food. Winter is the season of waiting.   
In many cultures winter is associated with death. You look around—nothing seems to grow many animals are hiding in their dens. Lakes look devoid of fish. Most of the trees and shrubs don't have leaves. 
However, there is life during winter. The ice is only at the top part of the water. Deep water is warm enough for fish to swim. Trees slow down their metabolism in order to conserve the energy. The animals are hibernating in their dens. Seeds are deep in the ground and some are germinating. 
During spiritual winter it looks like nothing is going on. We need more comfort during winter. Any activity requires us to gear up more. We want for it to be over as soon as possible despite the opportunities we have that are unique to the season.    
Even though we don't see it, the work is ting place to prepare for the spring. 

           

Spring

Here comes the season  which many people love. The weather warms up. The snow melts. You see firs flowers and first green leaves. Spring gives many people hope for something new. Farmers getting ready to go out in fields. The soil is ready for agriculture.

Spring is the time for new life. Animals giving birth their young. 

This season is the start for renewal in nature and for sowing the seeds. There would be no harvest without sowing. 
Spring starts with mud and bare ground, after the snow melts. Suddenly muddy puddles surround us. We see bare trees and dead grass. However, it will all change in a few weeks. 

Spring is a very busy season. It's also a season of cleaning. Most people are getting rid off their old things. The air is more fresh. Newness of life is the spring.   
First bloom comes in spring: trees, gentle, tender flowers, and shrubs. Birds are singing their song and chirping. 

Most people love spring because it brings hope and new start. Great break from winter. It also makes you looking forward to the summer.
When spring comes, at first it doesn't look pretty: puddles, wilted grass, bare ground, and mud. But we know that new plants will come
Most people love spring for its freshness and newness. We anticipate summer while enjoying the spring. 
Spiritual spring is the time for renewal and fresh start. We often start new projects. We're actively sawing the seeds. We feel refreshed and well-rested. It is a lot of work. If we miss sawing, we have to wait for the next season. People don't expect harvest/results during sawing. Sometimes we expect harvest during spring. Quite often the season is to short or too long. Spring is the season for intensive work that brings results in the future. 

Summer

In many cases when we hear the word summer we think of heat. Sometimes the heat becomes so intense that we sweat. Summer is the time for hard work in the fields. During summer we enjoy some harvest, including berries. The harvest during summer is tender. But it's not the main harvest. Summer has the largest amount of flowers.
Summer has long warm days and shorter nights. Many crops are under attack from different pests. Plants also need to be watered. Some places experience droughts. Sometimes summer is so hot that people stay away from direct sun. Doctors recommend to drink more water. People apply sunscreen. During summer we protect ourselves from heat and sun. Insects also become aggressive and sting. We welcome summer rain with joy. 
Summer is the season of intense growth. Plants need many nutrients. Gardens, fields, and patches  require much work: watering, weeding, and other responsibilities.  Watering has to be done at the right time, otherwise we can damage the leaves and can kill the roots. 
During spiritual summer we face much heat. We see much growth and development. 
We can do many different things during summer. While many people use this time for taking holidays, there is a lot of work in nature. Bees are busy in meadows and fields.  Birds and animals are raising new generations. Many animals eat a lot of food. The fat serves as energy source for winter. 
I remember how my grandmother and I used to pick up bugs from potato plants during summer. My grandfather used to say that summer is the most dangerous season—so many tings can destroy crops. We worked hard during summer in the garden and small land plot that we had. Sometimes we spent ore than eight hours per day working on the land. 
Spiritual summer involves a lot of work and a lot of attacks. Summer is the season of hard work.  We face many uncomfortable situations that require us to act fast, otherwise we will lose the harvest. We need to work hard. Sometimes we will get hurt and we need time to heal. It looks as if everything going on at once and life gets very intense.

I am Falling Away in the Dark

First, I would like to apologize to all my readers, whether you check my blog regularly or a new guest for not writing regularly. I usually post two times a month. This year I did one post for January and the current post is for February.
This is not going to be my usual style post. You will get anything new out of it. It's not about spiritual lessons or how to do certain things. This post tells you what I have been going through emotionally.
I have been falling away in the dark. Sometimes it seems as if I am on the crash course into an abyss. Other days look like I am in a darkest room. Emotionally, I am at a state of a despair, wondering why the Lord still has me on this planet. Too often I am pleading with the Lord to take me away. Most of my days I carry a heavy pain in my stomach and chest. It feels as if I were carrying lead ingots.
You know the worst part, the pain gets worse after I return from church or the Bible Study. It doesn't get worse when I read Bible at home or watch devotional videos.

The Ambassadors

Few days ago I finished reading An Unexpected Guest—a novel by Anne Korkeakivi. The book describes the ordeal of Clare Moorehouse, the wife of high-ranking diplomat, who has to organize a dinner for high ranking officials. In addition to the dinner, she has to deal with an encounter from her past, which can have drastic consequences for her family and their country. As if all of the above was not enough, her youngest son gets suspended from school for participating in anti-government activities.  
Clare is going through emotional torments. Things that she had done twenty-five years ago could destroy her life. She also has to deal with her son's situation. The book ends with the moment when Clare decides to confront her past. She also risks her reputation by defending a suspect.
This novel gives an overview of an embassy work. Every embassy has to be efficient. An embassy is a representation of the government abroad. It provides information to the residents of the country and the expats. 
In my life I had several encounters with a few embassies. Their work can provide us with some lessons. 

The Environmental Role

How do we treat things that we don't own: with care and respect. Especially if someone asked us to look after the stuff. When someone asks us to look after a pet or to house sit (to look after the house while the owners are away), we do it with great diligence. Some people wouldn't do it. However, every rule has an exception.