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Thursday, July 14, 2016


People don't discuss that. Churches avoid the subject: rejected people. There are different types of rejections. Some are open. Others are not. I have experienced multiple rejections. My worst pain was caused by Christians. In this post, I decide to touch 
Some will use it as an excuse to point out Christianity as bad religion. Unfortunately, many Christians fail God constantly. We all sin against God. He is gracious and forgives us. Our battle with sin is constant. Sometimes we give in. 
Rejection is the result of sinful nature. It can come in different forms: open or subtle. Open rejections are the easiest to detect. Most of the time people have no problems to detect open rejection. Subtle rejections can slip through undetected. They are often covered by many things. 

Open Rejection

You know when you see it. People will ignore you. They might be polite at the basic level: say hello, goodbye, and thanks. But they are not welcoming. You see those people after church, they get together into groups; you are not part of their gatherings. They talk to each other while ignoring you. You try to gain their trust. But they just wouldn't accept you. It hurts.  
Eventually, you make a decision to leave the church. This may cause someone to leave God altogether. 

Subtle Rejection

This one is the worst. Many people don't see it right away. At first glance, it looks like you have been accepted. You get involved in a Bible Study group. You participate in many activities the church has to offer: Bible Studies, prayer meetings, clubs, picnics, and  other things. But it doesn't mean that you will gain acceptance. Subtle rejection doesn't necessarily mean being rejected by the entire church. In my case, it's certain demographics, young people, most of them in their 20s.  
I tried to talk to one of the group members. The person told me that I was wrong. The individual explained that the reason why we weren't able to spend time. I knew that the person didn't want to spend any time with me outside the Bible Study because the individual has uploaded a photo on social media where the person was having fun with a bunch of people, including from my church.
After that, I gave up trying to talk with any young person from my church. 
Some people suggested that I will find a different church. But I have been involved with my current church at many different levels. I give it to God to confront people. If not here than at the judgement seat. 
I have to forgive them. You know it's easier to forgive non-believers. The hardest to forgive fellow Christians. Being rejected is one of the worst feelings.
At this point,  I am heartbroken by many things. I pray and hope it will get better soon.
"My brethern, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism." James 2:1
Rejected people often feel alone and forgotten



  1. One of my friends who is a same church member told me that such kind of superficial christian fellowship in church is not rare.She has friends of other churches struggling about it,and had experienced it when she had been attending her first church.

    When I told her about one of your experiences( which other christian's attitude hurt you) I know,she said so.I cannot imagine how we can pray for each other seriously without knowing each other.

    When I was still young,I hoped one thing.Please let me notice forgotten people.Because I often had felt unnoticed, lonely in my girlhood.

    Even now I feel that I am not an important person to my church.But it does not let me down.The more God let me humble,the more He makes me notice other's needs unnoticed.

    We often find God in secret places where no other is,I think.The place where I and He are.

    We also need true fellowship in Christ.I thank you always for sharing your true feeling with us, not only happiness but struggles.

    God be always with you anytime.anywhere.


    1. Sanae, it's sad to read your comment. I wish that the rejection would take place less often. I have seen so many people who were turned away from church. I agree with your friend's statement.
      Thank you for encouragement.

    2. Thank you,Irina for your sincere response.I love my present church,and thank God for allowing me to belong there.I now feel that other's attitude has nothing to do with my relationship with God,even I thank God for that He gave me some close christian friends,sincere sisters like you all.

      I also have seen some people left church as you had.So I hope to heed unknown sadness of other members and my loving people so much. I do not have
      much love for others,but Jesus loves them all.By following Jesus,He allows us to know people's needs more,I believe.

      It's sad to tell it,but many people who belong to church may not know Jesus deeply,even they are called christians.

      I thank you always for sharing your true feeling.So I can answer by my truth one always.

      Irina,please stay true. I believe that you are God-chosen sister.


    3. Sanae, your comment is so deep. Thank you for the comment.

  2. Dear Irina,

    It is so comforting to read your essays and testimonies, Irina as Sanae said, your sharing always contains your true feelings.

    I believe that you are now getting closer and closer to the heart of Jesus. That's because He's passed through both open and subtle rejection to the full brim. He was a Man of Sorrow and He is a Man of Sorrow today.

    "Even now I feel that I am not an important person to my church.But it does not let me down.The more God let me humble,the more He makes me notice other's needs unnoticed.
    We often find God in secret places where no other is,I think.The place where I and He are." by Sanae

    Yeah, I also believe that we often find Him in secret places. And this is my sincere prayer that He will gently and kindly draw you to His deep bosom where you can find rest and comfort. In Christ's love, Kinuko

    1. Dear Kinuko,

      I am so thankful for the words of comfort. Jesus knows our sorrows. Sometimes I wonder if I will have ties of rejoicing before reaching heavens. For now my heart has been filled with pain and sorrow. I honestly can say that I cannot wait for this trial to be over.
      In Christ,

  3. Dear Irina,
    I can relate to what you said about rejection from other Christians hurting the most. I've had some experiences where I was hurt by some Christians. I've noticed that many in the church are very outspoken (at least in word) about accepting people who were previously drug-addicts or alcoholics, etc., but who have trouble accepting their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are simply holding them to a higher standard (God's standard), and urging them to grow into the image of Christ. Yes, that hurts.
    I agree with Sanae's and Kinuko's comments. I would also like to add this: I've learned to let people make their own decisions. They will go down the path that they've chosen, and as much as it hurts, I have no control over the choices they make. I just have to leave them in God's hands, and do my best to not be bitter against them. It is hard, though.
    Much love to you in Christ,

    1. Dear Jessica,
      I am so thankful for all of the comments. It's hard to see someone heading down the way of destruction. It's hard to admonish people with love when they are being adamant.Especially with the theme of modesty, I find many ladies launch attacks.
      The worst part, or one of the worst, being hurt by someone who demonstrates a great Bible knowledge.
      With much Christian love,